Bliss from Simple things

I enjoy walking around Intramuros by myself, loving the beautiful designs and daydreaming. My heart is filled with joy that I even smile at strangers whom I believe are nice people and they smiled back at me! It felt nice that I was like a "walking angel" that lifts up other people's mood even if they don't know me :))

Dream Home

A woman should have a mixture of: a wisdom of the mother + integrity of a virgin + attractiveness of slut + independence of a bitch.

Quote from the movie Syrup. It says that “this leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you. What they are forced to do instead is… take you seriously.”

GO WOMAN POWER!!

It's not just a dream! But definitely a DREAM COME TRUE! ♥ ♥ FIREWORKS!!!

I really wanted to see fireworks display again, and earlier this day, while helping my roommate shoot her video project at the Intramuros walls, we saw firecrackers being set up meters away from us. I thought they were going to launch them by 7-8pm, and I thought I missed it already because Lorinell and I are inside SM Manila that time.

But I was wrong! Just minutes before I typed this blog post, (9:30pm! June 22, 2014) my roommates and I was surprised to hear firecrackers by our window! I immediately opened the curtain and got so excited like a kid =)) The fireworks display lasted for about 4-5 minutes, but the best parts of it was blocked by the building of MIT >.< But still, we loved the fireworks display ♥ ♥ ♥ My heart is filled with joy ^_^

This is what I love in my room! I get surprise fireworks display almost everyday! But most of the time, the fireworks can't be seen by our window, so I get sad to only hear the firecrackers but cannot even see the majestic display.

Last term break, almost everyone already went home to start their vacation, so there are only few people living in Intramuros by then, and I'm one of them. I'm already alone in our dorm room at a Saturday/Sunday midnight, then suddenly at 1am a fireworks display was launched in our school! It was the exact fireworks display that we had on our foundation week (which woke me up at 7pm that day).. To see that there's an unexpected majestic fireworks show is so amazing, it felt like it's meant for me ♥♥

This is why I get excited to see fireworks as if I'm a little kid ♥
I wasn't like this in the past.

Blessed by the Eucharist, blessed by God ♥

I was having a troubled mind and heart during the mass, but when I took the Holy Communion and prayed wholeheartedly, I suddenly became at peace. I walked the streets of Intramuros with joy in my heart, I even tried to go inside the newly-renovated Manila Cathedral but there's an ongoing mass so I didn't enter. I decided to attend mass there some other time.

As I was on my way to Chow King, I smiled at a security guard at the building in front of it. Then, the security guard at Chow King also has a smiling face so I greeted him with a smile, too. Then all of the staff were nice and are all smiling at me. Upon ordering, I realized I have no money with me so I just went out to a nearby atm and when I came back, a staff and the guard opened the doors for me, making me feel like a V.I.P.! :))

I ate my favorite sweet and sour fish together with a pineapple juice, then Alan came to get his photocopy from me. I stayed for a while, got a call from my mom and left Chow King. While about to leave, the security guard opened the door for me saying "Thank You" and I smiled did some polite gesture to him. I heard him say "Such a nice smile!" "Ay, ang ganda naman ng ngiti!" , which made me happier :D So then I walked back to dorm happily while having Manila Cathedral's bell as a background sound :)

Everything is scary when you suddenly wake up from a terrifying dream within the "devil's hour"

Just recently woke up from a "nightmare"(?) Well, a nervous-packed dream to be exact (3:53am)

There were a lot of scenes in this dream of mine, but I only remember 2, first is the best one and last is the worst and what made me wake up.

The first one is about fireworks. We were inside our "dorm" but the setting is more house-like, far from what my dorm looks like. "Finally", we were able to see the beautiful view of UP Diliman (which is actually far from our place HOHO so impossible) and they are celebrating their foundation day. To celebrate it, they had fireworks display which are grand and beautiful - it was a counter-clockwise sequence of fireworks (It started in the south, the next round at southeast, then up to northwest) so it was 4 rounds of consecutive grand fireworks display. It's theme is HUNGER GAMES! Literally, there's a firework there in every round which is like an explosion of arrows, and it was like I was feeling the 'residue' or ashes of the arrows in my dreams.

The next is I went to UP Diliman then I approached Psychology professors while they are having a meeting, I forgot why but I had something to inquire, and I wanted a book be explained by the professor I want to talk to. Turns out, the book was somehow cartoony for a psychology book. Then it was like I got too absorbed by the book, I "got inside of it". Well, there's no scene about transporting to the book, the scene just changed into me wearing Renaissance/Medieval pauper clothes, and I was alone in the "house", and the house have four pairs of a tinted window with a hooked screw on it and a door.

I was aware it was a simulation about psychology, and I'm supposed to answer one of the doors, whichever "voice" do I feel trustworthy to open, because there might be a chance that it's a killer knocking on the floor, pretending to be a nice person. Before I started locking the doors, I noticed that a huge bear is approaching the first door. It is a beast that can kill me. Next is a (well at first, SINGULAR) a "nice lady" knocking on the door. I cannot see their faces because the window is tinted and the door is pure wood. The other is "my grandma", then I forgot if there is actually another door left (so it was 3 or 4 doors).

So there, let's say there are only 3 pairs of doors and windows. It's supposed to be a test which you live in a house of ONE PAIR OF ENTRANCE (1 window+1 door) then one day you are alone and you get to have these scenarios, it's not supposed to be at THE SAME TIME, that is why the 3 pairs of doors look the same. But, yep, what I experienced is that three people are knocking from 3 different doors all at the same time.

So I knew all along that the first one is a bear. I locked the door and put a lot of things to secure the door because the bear can break in with its strength. The next one sounds like a nice lady; I was on the verge of opening the door for her but I'm thinking maybe she's just pretending to be nice. The last one is "my grandmother", well, she sounds like one. Grandma sounds authoritative and she's angry that I wasn't opening the door.

I knew all along that it was only a simulation, that is why I'm more suspicious with people. "What if" it's the nice lady? "What if" it's grandma who wanted to kill me? Plus, she sounds mad. So I secured all the doors while they are still knocking and pleading for me to open the door (except the bear, he can't speak, all he do is knock beastly). The nice lady turned out to have another woman with her, with a higher pitched voice which I find creepy, and made me secure the door even more.

Their pleadings got worse and worse, the nice lady and the person with her sounded lunatic already and grandma's getting angry that all their noise started getting into my head like crazy and they were all trying to break in. I was just looking at the three doors then the lady tried to look through the window. She looked scary since she looked like she's wearing gothic clothes by the window because of the window's black tint. Apparently she only appeared like a shadow and I only looked at her below her face, so I only saw the creepy dress.

Everything's sounding crazy already, they are trying to break in, I'm scared that the doors will open even if it was tightly secured. Then I noticed them from the window. They held a screwdriver. I FORGOT TO SECURE THE WINDOW! There's only this hooked screw securing it then they can open the window already (they didn't thought of breaking the glass). Nervous rushed all over me as I can feel them breaking in and killing me. I was afraid to get killed. "I'm done." "I'll die." And finally I woke up from all the stress from this dream.

________________________________________

I noticed reasons why I had those details in my dream. I made a blog post yesterday about missing the fireworks show last night, so I had a dream of multiple fireworks display as if it was real and I was able to feel the dusts.

Then the psychology thing and UP Diliman. The UP Diliman was just mentioned by a friend named Elisha at our English class. Then, psychology, maybe because I made a new friend from that course and she made me take a psychology test and we'll meet again for a drawing test on Monday.

Then the huge brown grizzly bear must be because of Lorinell mentioning "bear" during dinner.

It just amazed me that this dream made me feel as if it was real. I got really nervous and scared. So I realized I was scared of getting killed. Then I also received a moral lesson: LOCK ALL FENESTRATIONS, DO NOT STUPIDLY FOCUS ON THE DOOR BECAUSE BAD PEOPLE BREAK IN WINDOWS.

Had a fun night with my college best friend, Lorinell :)

During the whole day, I was actually feeling down and I just want to curl up singing the phrase "I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here 'coz I remember it all, all, all..too well"

But then when the class ended and it's just me and Lorinell on the way to dinner, we had a great and fun girl chat, during then I did not even feel sad anymore. After dinner, I accompanied her to the bakery and we were singing on the way there. Yep, I have the courage to sing out loud at the silent road of Intramuros because she's with me :)) Then I noticed blinking lights reflected at the walls of our school, THERE'S FIREWORKS! I was like a kid being too excited to find a view where I can see them. I already gave up coz the buildings block the sky, but when we reached the bakery, there are people by Manila Bulletin who are looking at the fireworks display!

But the moment I ran to reach that road, the fireworks display finally ended :( 
I still had fun though, most especially when my friend said that she wants to spend the night with me and talk about lots of stuff. Man, I really want to live in the same apartment with her >.< ♥ 

I might fail now, but I'll make it up the next time. I might fail now, but that failure is nothing compared to all that happened this term :D

I experienced a lot within these two months. It's still sad that there's something sacrificed for all these. T'was a great journey. Yaay 18

A week before this term started, it was Holy week. I didn't participate at all and my faith was clouded with doubt. I cannot clearly see why I should praise something that seems so unreal but my heart seems clouded also that I was never at peace during those weeks. I still tried to go to church to enlighten myself and gradually, my faith has returned. Ever since then, my heart remained at peace and I'm always happy. It's like God always hugs my heart, which is so delightful :D I bought a cheap and cool wooden bracelet with a cross on it to make me feel like God is always with me, and to not let me feel unsure ever again.

Then I turned 18. It was three weeks ago and I still feel like I'm still celebrating it now. I'm happy that I have the chance to be able to get a driver's license even though I still don't know how to drive :)) A lot of things happened that currently I cannot list them all but to sum it up, it was such a great experience and my heart is contented.

All I can mention now is that:

• I gained a bunch of "strangers who clicked together"
• became closer to my niece Melissa who plays toys while we video chat
• made more memories with my high school "family", 
• had more bonding time with my best friend, 
• mysteriously became nicer to my sister, 
• my mom is so busy,
• had moments with the people of Adams+ Manong mapuan ice cream+ Ate Tweeny (Mothers' day)
• unexpectedly seeing my crush after a long time and it happened to be his birthday that day and luckily I remembered the date!
• unfriended a friend because I've had enough and I am just so concerned for her that I gave up on her
• became closer to my foreign friend whom I spend my nights to keep me awake while doing schoolwork
• met in person a friend I've known for 5 years and gained new friends during the event, 
• becoming a godmother (Tita Ninang) of my youngest niece Rozelle Ann (whose name is somehow similar to mine) We sound like sisters haha
• first time being in Enchanted Kingdom yet did not get scared at rides, and unexpectedly danced as a birthday celebrant
• first time watching a movie in the cinema, with my college friends
• and most especially, God lives in my heart.

It is just such a downfall that I'm not doing well with a major subject. I am really struggling, I wanna save that subject but it might be futile and it's too late. But as I said at the beginning,  I might fail now, but that failure is nothing compared to all that happened these 11 weeks.

Everything good is on the next page of God's plan. All we need to do is wait and have patience. It'll be worth it :D

Had another bunch of "Strangers who clicked together" at a debut party of a friend I have met after 5 years of knowing each other

It was God's will to give us a person who connected the two of us personally. My AR batchmate, and probably the best student of our batch, Justin James, helped me go to Yuuki-chan's party last night.

We expected going there late since his class ended at 6, while I have a midterms plate from 4:30-7:30. I did my best to finish it quickly because he's waiting for me. I did finish by 7pm but my professor didn't allow me to pass it yet. What made us more late is that since I finished early, I will collect all the plates, so I will have to wait for all of them and arrange the plates alphabetically. It's like he's doing it on purpose.

We rode the bus with my close friend Ynarae, and stopped by Justin's house first. It was quite a walk so I was looking around the houses we pass by, until there was this house that made me stop because it looks very "architecture" and to my surprise, Justin walked towards it. Just WHOA =))
His family is very nice, and his father drove us to Yuuki-chan's house.

During the party, we needed to sit by the high school classmates. Several find me familiar and knew me as someone from "anime-addicts". Jean Audrie and several of her friends like the one named "Jea" (which sounds really rhymey with my nickname) are with me the rest of the party. We met this guy named "Lenard Kevin" whom I noticed being alone but I was just shy to start a conversation with him, luckily I found him talking to Jean and everyone else so, there :))

I was really excited to meet Yuuki face to face but I did my best to hide in the audience during the event 'coz I want her to notice me when I'm already near her :D It took a while before I was able to get near her because everyone wants to take a picture of her :) Then Kevin, Jea, Marga, Jean, Justin and I were together until the visitors go home and it's only Kevin and I left 'coz we can't go back to Manila at a very late time.

We spent the after-party with the Red Cross friends of Yuuki-chan and I was able to borrow Yuuki's clothes for the night. Her mom and dad were also with us for a while and socialized. That was so cool. Her Red Cross friends are so funny and I was really entertained with the gays who made the night a minor comedy bar/ beauty pageant/ theater/ cheering venue =)) Too bad I stayed up all night the night before so I really needed to sleep earlier than them. Kevin wanted me to sing but I wasn't able to (now I regret it haha) It's just that I feel so pressured whenever I'm asked to do such thing, so I wasn't able to think of a good song to sing that night.

It was 7am in the morning when they woke up and almost everyone are already in the dining area. The gays talk about funny things during their childhood days and it was HILARIOUS XDDD There was a time when I was drinking water then I can't stop laughing but I'm trying not to swallow and choke with the water in my mouth; everyone else was laughing at me xDD

So after that breakfast, we finally ended our stay at Yuuki-chan's house. Her mom said she'll miss us, aww <3 I wanna go back because I'll have my Gothic Lolita dress made in their shop; Yuuki's outfit last night was amazing :D And so we walked for a bit, and rode a tricycle to reach the highway (we needed 3 or 4 tricycles to fit us all) They were all so nice and said they would add me on facebook :) They were also surprised to know that it's my first time meeting Yuuki in person because it seemed like we were very close <3 I also just figured out that it was Ate Ann who was beside me in the bed while sleeping. She's studying Fine Arts. I paid for Kevin's ride in the tricycle and he said he'll just pay our jeepney ride.

In the jeepney, when Ann and the other RCY member left, we said "Let's just talk in facebook!" then the jeepney driver joined in and said "Fb fb na lang"! That was so funny :)) Then, I decided that I'll ride the SM Fairview bus so that I can join Kevin in the ride, since it's so sad to ride the bus alone after a nice event. The conductor said the bus won't stop at where I want to drop off so I parted ways with Kevin.

I sat comfortably in the Lawton bus while feeling contented with the nice experience I had when I noticed Kevin AT THE AISLE OF THE BUS, WALKING TOWARDS ME! I instantly asked with confusion, "Why are you here?" Then he just sat beside me and said "I'll just take the MRT, or LRT. I forgot. Nevermind haha" *not exactly the words he said* I was flattered by that, since it was really surprising. And lucky for him that my bus wasn't leaving before he arrived! Since he wasn't sure of where he'll drop off, I needed my Manila friends to help us know what MRT/LRT line is Trinoma. It turned out that he will have to leave at the first stop of the bus. He was able to get my number before we noticed that we're already at the first bus stop. The trip was so quick, and very convenient. Of course I wanted it to should've lasted longer.

I walked back to Intramuros because it is such a nice day to contemplate and cherish all the good stuff that just happened. The moment I walked within the walls, I realized that I'm just right in time to attend the Holy Mass so I did to thank God for every blessings I received. Right after the mass, I called my mom, then my best friend Lorinell to eat lunch with me and chitchat about the event :D

I really wish I can meet them again :) But I will once again do my best to come back.

My first ever "F.O." letter.

A little clarification for everyone: I did not post this online to brag about it, I only wanted no rumors nor false accusations from anyone so I believed it's better for you guys to read the reason why I wrote something like this.

Is there something wrong with respecting other people's property?

I did not make the receiver my enemy, I only ended my friendship with that person so all the secrets that person shared to me will never be exploited. I'm not a rotten immature person to do that just because I ended a friendship with someone. I value respect that much. I hope that person does the same.

This is my first time doing this and my hands are shaking and my heart is palpitating at rage right now. I literally needed to condition myself with fun music to calm me down.

No amount of motivation for tidying up your things can match the pressure of finding an assumed "lost" property that's badly needed to be borrowed by someone...

 It took me less than 5 minutes to clean up only to realize that what I was trying to find is only behind my laptop. *facepalm*

Wackiest groupmates ever - Strangers who clicked together

These are my groupmates during my first and last make-up class for Physics Laboratory this college. I never expected it would be so fun because most of the time, whenever you're grouped with strangers, it's a very awkward experience. But these guys weren't at all! Every second with them was enjoyable that I promised them I will come visit next time; and that next time was today!

It was so great that the professor did not notice me at all! Even with my two slices of pizza and a bottled water on my hands and quite a noisy entrance, he didn't notice that I wasn't even part of that class! =)) He is also my professor in my lab class though so he totally knows me, he was just busy looking after his students that's why he didn't see me xD (I'm on stealth mode ;) )

These guys were as talkative as ever, but are now closer than before :) Almost half of them eat lunch together, and yeah I ate lunch with them today too! At the Intramuros walls which I never have eaten before, so it's pretty memorable. I also met the guy who weren't present during my make-up class and he is as nice as the other guys :)) He commented on my "I miss you guys blah blah blah" post in their fb group as if I have met him before so it was weird xD

I confessed to them that it's my first time eating in the Walls today, and I'm about to watch cinema for the first time ALSO TODAY in SM North Edsa :) ♥

I also ate tahong and chicken today in the Walls which I missed so much (tahong) and our sitting arrangement is (clockwise): Ate Diane-Tom-Ate Elisha-Me-Enrix-Brandon. It was also raining mildly so it's such a nice day =)) Our other roommate Ate Gabby and her friend Ate Marian also bought food at where we are eating at; she was surprised I ate there, and, well, everyone is xD Especially the fact that I have never been in cinemas =))