I really like wondering about the lives of the ancient people/tribes/Middle Ages and point out the scarcity of what school have taught us about them.

They sounded all-grand or all-simple, but it's a mixture of the two. That is why I like watching movies that depict lives of such kind of things; I am able to have an idea about how they live far better than what I have learned from school & books.

It's just that, they lived better: in terms of resourcefulness, perseverance and strength; and worse: in terms of unsanitary, uneducated, and extremely simple life. There are simple people who care about value, and there are those people who merely lives in greed. In that perspective, what was before and what is current are the same. Just modernistic, cleaner, educated---well, for most of us, but extremely not for the unfortunate. The surroundings and way of life may have changed, but the status and problem of every place of every era haven't.

I want this to happen SO BADLY.

All I ever wanted is to have my friends living with me in the same subdivision. To hang out at each others' houses, at any time we want without us having the trouble of going home late and commuting. We can stroll around until night time, and even see each others' faces while waking up. I have never experienced that, and I want it so bad. I know it'll be the best thing that has ever happened to me if I can get it.

Journey on a Paperboat

This is my book report of The Fountainhead for our Theory of Architecture. I just wanted to share this because I wanted to show how much I love this book, and will be such a waste of efforts not letting it be shared. You will meet me and so are the characters seen through my perspective. I wasn't able to finish reading the whole story earlier though, it was due 1:30 and I stopped at page 523 after unloading from the bus by 11:20am. I haven't done my book report then and I have to submit a something of 3000 words or else I'll be doomed. I wanted my book report to be the treasure and testimony of my love for this book but I wasn't able to show it through what I have passed - because I lacked time and I just hustled. But all I've written were from my heart, I will finish reading the book and I will read it over and over again, with utmost care to the book (I am very sensitive with my books, I don't want to fold it or let it have wrinkles whatsoever)

So with my no-format paper, no references, no footnotes paper all because of I isolated myself from the internet in order to try finish reading from page 100-the end (which is more than 600) in one day, I had 75/100 grade. Others who used the internet, read other people's testimonies, influenced, and copied the works, had higher grade. I'm not upset or anything, I am just stating the fact. If it did not mean anything to me, I would do the same. But I love this book so I wrote will all my heart. This is MY book report, I'm not advertising the book whatsoever. I reported what I felt, what I reacted, and how it influenced me.

And so here it is: Of course, this is a hustled composition, I wanted to do better, but this is what I have done from 12-1:30 pm earlier (4/5ths of it. 20% of it I started this morning, but then I realized I cannot make it and that I'm not yet finished reading. So I continued reading at the bus and did the composition the moment I arrived in my dormitory. It's not something admirable. It shouldn't be done.

I'm a royal prisoner, trapped in a golden city. (A diary for our History of Architecture -Asia- subject)

Other people say it's majestic, the center of the universe, and that I'm fortunate enough to be the emperor's daughter living in fortune - but I want to be out of here. This is a vast, lonely place. All I see are walls, houses of same designs, and same people over and over again! Every single day it gets more boring. It saddens me. I can only entertain myself by watching children play, hear their laughs and sometimes teach them lessons for them to learn. Sometimes I stroll around the inner court and take a look at Baba's palace and wonder how he's doing. His palace is the grandest here in the inner court, and of course the most beautiful. There are even guards all over to secure his safety. I'm scared of them; they make me feel like I need to make an appointment just to see my own father. Second to the largest palaces is where I live in, with Mama and my siblings. Visitors (some high rank officials that are invited or welcome in our abode), would look at the palaces in awe. They would smile at us, and complement how beautiful our place is. I don't really get it, or maybe I got used to this place so much since this is the only place I have ever seen since birth. Even if I'm the only daughter, Baba seems to favor my brothers more, there are even times that I feel left out and doubt if I really am a part of this "Royal Family". I loathe the fact that I was born a girl. Why did the Gods of heaven bothered to make me a woman when all my father wanted was to have a son?

I myself have never been in the outer court. It's prohibited for me to go there. They say that the outer court is for official businesses, something like that. But I've heard that the inner court is a reflection, in terms of symmetry, of the outer court. Though the latter is bigger, and that many people gather there for ceremonial occasions and Baba's proclamations. I think it looks better than this place, but at the same time evil. Even with the vast area of this city, there are times that I could actually hear harrowing screams from the outer court, insinuating that someone might have been given severe punishment (which might have been death). I've been hearing noises like that since I was a child. Whenever I think of the outer court, I imagine it full of bloodshed, or that eunuchs spend their time cleaning the 'dirt' after every execution - so that the city would still look presentable to others who do not know our dark secret.

Eunuchs were the only ones who could tell me what the outside looks like during our private brief conversations. Soil is said to be abundant unlike in this city where it's full of man-made ground. There are also huge rivers, different kinds of animals mingling with one another - a lot of which I have never seen nor heard before; some I have seen in paintings. People of different status interact with each other, very much interested in knowing the people within these walls; they do not know how lucky they are free outside than live forever in isolation and full of do's and don'ts. I envy the dragons I see on almost every corner of this place; how exciting it is to be able to fly, to be in charge of where you are going. What happy free mythical creatures they are. I always daydream being taken away by a dragon, and bring me to a place where my fellow men will not be able to find me. All I want to do is have a taste of freedom: take a bath on a river, enjoy the sweet taste of freshwater together with the fishes jumping out of the water; pick a fresh fruit from a tree, touch real-life flowers instead of flowery wall decorations, sit on a grass, and have a butterfly tickle my nose. Isn't that too much to ask?

I'm able to survive while hanging on the cliff. Being able to see the ground but still striving to reach the top.